Unlikely Angel
by writingtiger
Summary: Gods ways are not our ways as Leah is about to learn. Updated!
1. Sending An Angel

"I love you Leah Lewis Hall," the words echoed in her ears as she walked down the hospital corridors where she spent so much time as a patient in her younger years. Walking down this particular corridor, seeing that particular room, it never failed to remind her of the Amish who had changed her life, Especially dear little Rebekah. "Why were you taken so young?" she asked, as though she expected to see the little girl in front of her, eager to answer her question then ask her a barrage of her own. 

"This is my dream," she reminded herself. Inspiered by Molly, her greatest goal was to be a nurse in the cancer ward. Instead she found so much depression. Children died. Neil had died. Even her own dear grandmother had all been taken by that horrible monster. She checked her watch as she finished her rounds. Goodness, she was supposed to have taken a lunch break fifteen minutes ago. She left her clipboard at the nurses station, and stopped by the ladies room on her way down to the cafeteria.

She looked in the mirror with a critical eye as she redid her hair. No matter how hard she tried that day, her fine hair wouldn't stay in the updo she had created that morning.  
"Leah." A woman appeared in the mirror behind her. She jumped, running closer to the exit.  
"Who are you?" she asked.  
"Leah, you know who I am."  
"Yes, but – I wasn't supposed to see you again Gabriella."  
She smiled. "Go to the fourth floor."  
"That's the maternity ward. I'm not assigned there."  
Gabriella simply smiled that beautiful smile again. "You need to be on the maternity ward. Go." With that she vanished.  
"Wait," Leah cried, "I had so many questions I wanted to ask you," she said as though talking to herself.

Her stomach rumbled as she entered the elevator and pushed the fourth floor button in annoyance. What was so darn important it couldn't have waited until after she had lunch. "Gabriella, couldn't you have given me a clue?" she wondered, as she walked past the nursery. The name from one of the cribs caught her eye. A baby girl named Gabriella.Baby Gabriella's last name was Roybal. The date under her name announced she was the oldest in the group, most likely the next to go home "Good enough," she mumbled. In curiosity she scanned the names on the other cribs. The crib marked "Chin, Tran" held a little Asian baby. His black shock of hair went in all directions over his tiny head. Then there was a little baby girl at the end. "Mary Longacre" was the name on thecrib and the newest in the group. 'How cute,' Leah thought.

Then she stopped in her tracks. The last name of Longacre was by no means a common last name. What if she was Ethans? No, maybe Eli moved to the area and that was his daughter. After all the Amish had their children at home she was certain. What if she was Charity's?There had to be a logical explanation.This little girl couldn't be Amish. She turned to go.

Maybe she would find whatever Gabriella had told her to find in the opposite direction, and came face to face with ... "Ethan?" "Leah." He appeared surprised, although he almost looked as though he were looking at her through a screen of pain.  
"I was just up here trying to find one of the other nurses, and I stopped by to see the babies. Is Mary yours?"  
He nodded, but his dazed look troubled Leah. "She is all mine unfortunately. Her mother passed away last night."  
"Martha?" He nodded.  
"Oh Ethan. I'm so sorry," she said, as she immediately gave him a consoling hug. "Can I ask what happened?"  
"Her mother had complications with the birth. By the time they got her here, it was too late."  
"Aren't there midwives that can handle such a thing?"  
He nodded. "We had the most experienced midwife, Sarah Windridge, there. She performed a cesarean, however there was a complication she had no experience in treating. Martha was taken to the hospital right away, but she was called home."  
"Oh Ethan."  
He wandered over to the window. "I have no idea what to do with my little girl."  
"You can raise her."  
"Amish men are not taught to raise children."  
"Perhaps you can have a girl from one of the neighboring farms to help you."  
"Perhaps."

"Or maybe your mother or Charity? Even Elizabeth."  
"Ahh, I couldn't ask such a thing of Charity or my mother. They have much to do with the wedding. And Elizabeth is having her time in the world. I can't ask her to give it all up to come help me with Mary."  
"Wait, the wedding? Who's getting married?"  
"Charity, within the month. I know she'd like to have you there."  
'So soon after a death?' Leah wondered, but didn't say anything. "Come on," she said, putting her arm around him.  
"Where are we going?"  
"The hospital chapel. You look like you need a few minutes to think."  
"I don't know what to think right now. Amish fathers are supposed to have Amish mothers for their children. I suppose I could give her to another family to raise, but that's all of Martha I have left I couldn't bear to do that."  
"Then you shouldn't," she told him as she opened the door. They sat down on a bench. "Remember when you came to see me here when I was about to have my biopsy? You said you had a dream that I needed you?" He nodded. "Gabriella told me to go to the fourth floor."  
Ethan immediately burst into tears. "Shh," she said, as she hugged him. She continued to hold him, letting him release all of the emotion he carried inside.  
"God heard my prayer," he cried. "I prayed that he would send me some form of comfort. I never dreamed it would be you."  
"I want to help you through this," she whispered softly in his ear, "the way you helped me when I needed someone."

It was a surreal drive to Napanee for Leah. Ethan in the front seat, looking so sad and alone. It hurt her so much to see him like that. Then there was the baby in back.  
"Where is your farm?" she asked. He guided her to it. "Who's been taking care of your farm?" she asked. "Simeon." The drive was so uncomfortably quiet. She was glad when her convertible glided to a stop in front of his farm. She helped him get the car seat out, and into the house.

As they walked in, she realized that many members of the Amish community were there to help him.  
"Leah," a familiar voice cried.  
"Charity," she exclaimed as the two girls hugged.  
"What are you doing here?" she asked in a hushed tone.  
"All I can say is I was sent by God. I'll explain later,"Leah replied to her friends puzzled look.  
"You're going to stay for supper at least," Charity insisted.  
"I don't think I had better. I don't want anyone thinking I'm here to make Ethan mine or anything when his poor wife is barely dead." "It is not the Amish way to think in such a way. You are a friend here to offer your condolences and support for my brother. Therefore you are welcome here." Charity explained. She looked around the home to find the baby being safely passed around from woman to woman. Ethan sat on a chair looking lost and desolate.  
"I'm going to see what else I can do for him," Leah muttered to Charity who nodded in understanding.

"Why are you wearing those funny pajama's "a little girl asked.  
Leah laughed as she looked down at her scrubs. "I'm a nurse, and this is what nurses wear" she explained.  
"Ruth, I want you to apologize," an older woman whom Leah assumed was her mother corrected her.  
"I'm sorry," she said, suddenly looking downcast.  
"It's quite alright," Leah assured her.  
"I'm Esther Wheatly," she introduced herself.  
"Pleased to meet you. I'm Leah."  
"What a pleasure to meet you. I apologize for my daughters comments. As you can see there aren't many English around here outside of tourist season."  
"Quite understandable. I had many questions about the Amish when I first met the Longacres. Our worlds are quite different."  
"Indeed they are," Esther nodded.

"Charity, I need you to go pick some radishes for me if you will?" Mrs. Longacre asked.  
"Certainly Mama. Leah, come with me," she said, pulling her friend away from the potatoes she was peeling. "So Leah, what did you mean when you said you were sent by God?" Charity asked as soon as they were outside.  
"Gabriella appeared to me. I had just finished my rounds when she appeared to me and told me to go to the maternity floor. She said I would know when I got there, and I saw Ethan. He told me he had prayed for a form of comfort, and assumed I was it."  
"You don't believe you are?"  
"Of course not, I'm English remember? The best thing for him would be an Amish wife who can bring up his daughter in the Amish traditions."  
"Leah, God doesn't always work in ways we understand. Sometimes his will has to be accepted blindly until it's made know to us at a later time."

It was a new idea to Leah, and she kept turning over the idea in her head. "God doesn't always work in ways we understand." She believed in God, but the idea that he would make things happen that didn't make any sense wasn't something she was really sure she could except. As dinner was prepared and laid out on the table she didn't see Ethan. Concerned she prepared him a plate to take into him.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed staring blankly out the window. From the window the fields could be seen as they spread out for miles. It was beautiful as the sunset's dimming rays played off the landscape, however she guessed correctly that it wasn't the view that held his mind. "I don't know what I'm going to do Leah," he said quietly.  
She slowly walked into the room and sat beside him, sitting the dish down on his bedside table. "I wish I had an answer for you," she replied.  
"It means a lot to me that you're here."  
"I just want to help you the way you helped me."  
"Are you going to go home tonight?"  
"I was thinking I could probably stay at the inn I used to work at. I still know people there."  
He nodded.. It would mean a lot to me having you close by."  
"I'm at your beck and call 24 hours a day," she told him, as she laid her hand on his knee. "Now I know you're not hungry but try to eat a little bit okay?" He nodded.

She felt really awkward among them. Unfamiliar with their customs, she didn't want to give Ethan a bad rep on top of everything else, but she wanted to be there for her friend. She walked back down stairs, and pulled Charity aside. "I'm completely a fish out of water. You have to clue me in as to what the guidelines are."


	2. Friends?

Charity looked puzzled. "What do you mean by guidelines?" "The way English men and women interact compared with the way Amish men and women interact are very different. I just don't know what's acceptable, and what's going to cause a riot." She smiled. "Leah, you worry too much. The only way you could possibly harm Ethan's reputation is by being over here a lot without a chaperone. There's no way that will happen because by the end of the next week, nearly everyone in the community will have been by at least once. Other than that, the way you are with him now is fine." "Are you sure?" "We could ask my papa." "Let's not. He doesn't like me remember?" "Leah, that is not true." "Yes it is." Charity could see that this discussion was going to go nowhere, so wisely she changed the topic. "Did Ethan tell you I'm going to be married soon?"

When no one was looking, Leah stepped outside for a breather. It was overwhelming to her being among the Amish again, not to mention that the only man she had ever loved was now a widower. It was her love for him that kept her here, yet was she really the best thing for him? Her mind kept turning the question over and over as to if she should stay or run as fast as she could drive away. She immediately dismissed the second possibility. She just wouldn't fall in love with him again. That would only lead to trouble.

The sound of crickets echoed through the night air as she took in the sweet scents of hay and falling leaves. The first chills of autumn were in the early September night. As she rubbed her arms she couldn't help but admire the quiet beauty of the farm. No traffic, not a single planned development within miles. She checked her watch. It was really late. She should probably go see if she couldn't get a room somewhere for the next few nights at least. "Leah." She turned to find Jacob Longacre. "Mr. Longacre?" She braced herself for a message telling her to get lost. "Tille overheard a conversation between you and Charity earlier." "Really?" "Is it so that you feel I don't like you?" "Um, well, I just got the impression that you didn't care for the fact that I'm English." He nodded. "Not the fact that you were English as much as the fact you were drawing my son from the Amish community. You are aware he's baptized now?" "Yes sir." He nodded. "It isn't that I don't like you Leah. You are a wonderful girl. You've been a great friend to Charity, and I will never forget how you helped Rebekah in the hospital." Leah's throat developed a lump at the mention of that dear little girl. "I just don't want to see you or my son get hurt." She nodded. "Yes sir." He walked away.

She breathed a sigh of relief. She had been most nervous about seeing Mr. Longacre, so it relieved her immensely that he wasn't going to give her further grief. She walked around the barn to find Ethan leaning against the wall. It tore at her heart to see how awful he looked. It was though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. "Ethan." He held his arm out to her. "Come here Leah." She gave him another hug. "I don't know what to do. I want to take away your pain, and somehow make things easier on you." "It is enough just having you here," he assured her. "I'm leaving for town shortly. Would you like me to come back tomorrow morning to check on you and the baby?" "That would be appreciated."

She had a restless night. The bed and breakfast she had worked at was full. She had had to settle for a cheap motel room. The walls were thin, and on one side she could hear a baby crying while on the other side she could hear a couple fighting. She hoped the dueling couple wasn't husband and wife. It would be so unfair that couples like that got to stay together while husbands like she was sure Ethan was had their wives slip away. Or even her mother and Neil for that matter. Leah was so grateful for the impact Neil had had on their lives. For the first time she had known what it was like to have a father. Not just someone who tolerated her so it would be more convenient for her mom.

Finally in the early morning hours she gave up, and decided to drive out to the farm. The Amish woke up early she remembered. To her surprise she saw Charity walking down the road as she got closer to Ethan's farm. She pulled over. "Need a lift?" "Leah, you are here early this morning," she commented as she slid into the passenger's seat. "I promised Ethan I'd check on him," she tossed off casually. "So where are you headed?" "Ethan's as well. Mama wanted me to take him some muffins for breakfast," she explained, gesturing to the covered basket she carried.

When they got there, Leah could tell Ethan had had a rough night. He held a crying Mary while he seemed hardly able to hold his head up. "She's been crying all night long, and I can't get her to take a bottle," he despaired. "Here let me see her," Leah offered. She held the bottle. "Ethan, this bottle is cold." "Isn't that the way you're supposed to drink milk?" "Not when you're hardly a week. Let me show you how to heat it up," she offered, handing the baby to Charity.

Soon they had the baby fed and sleeping. "Thank you so much Leah," Ethan said. "It's nothing. I'm going to go now and let you get some sleep." "I'm not tired," he protested as he stifled a yawn. "Ethan Longacre you're lying." "I do not lie, remember? I'm exhausted," he explained. She was surprised at the joke, and couldn't help but laugh. "However I can't sleep," he continued to explain, "Because I have cows to milk." "No, Leah and I will see to the cows," Charity determined. "We will? Yes, we will," Leah agreed while looking at Charity as though she were crazy.

In the barn, Charity demonstrated the technique for milking cows, and guided Leah through the first one she tried to milk. "You're getting the hang of it," she assured Leah. In unnerved her a little to be so close to anything that had a mind of its own, but she was willing to do it for Ethan. The cow seemed to sense her nervousness. She let out a moo, but stood there patiently. "Nice cow," Leah said, patting her gently. "We only have a few more to do," Charity assured her.

"I don't see how you can do this on a day to day basis," Leah said as she stood up after milking the last cow. Her back hurt from sitting down for so long. "You get used to it," a male voice boomed from the entrance. "Why hello Jonas," Charity greeted him with a kiss. "Mmm, that was nice." "I'm going to leave you two alone," Leah said squeezing past them. She heard Charity laugh behind her as she took the milk pails into the house.

Walking into the kitchen she found Ethan feeding the baby, this time with a warmer bottle. "Good job dad," Leah complimented him. She could sense that underneath his serious expression was a sense of pride that he was able to care for his daughter. It flickered in his eyes. There was a knock at the door. "I'll get it," Charity volunteered, tearing herself away from Jonas for a moment. "So Jonas, congratulations, about you and Charity." "Thank you. Ethan how have you been?" "Considering all that has happened, I consider myself blessed." Leah was certain her jaw was going to drop. He had just lost his wife, and referring to himself as blessed? "Father and mother have thought Friday might be a good day for the funeral," Jonas commented. She didn't hear Ethan's agreement. Her attention was turned to the open doorway.

Charity's prediction was about to be filled that day. At the door stood two Amish women bearing food. Through the open door, she could see another Amish woman approach. Esther Wheatly was with them, and greeted Leah while the other women flocked around him as though he were an injured lamb. "Leah, would you be willing to help me in the kitchen for a moment?" Esther asked. "Certainly." "So may I ask what is going on between you and Ethan?" "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm just helping him out with the baby while he's adjusting." "How did you meet Ethan anyway?" The question surprised Leah. She thought everyone in the Amish communities knew everything about everyone. She quickly told her about how she had met Ethan in the hospital originally. "I just wanted to be there for him, the way he was there for me." You know I used to be English." "Really?" Esther nodded. "I worked for a summer in Tennessee near an Amish settlement, at a café. Every day this very attractive man came in for lunch. We started talking, and talking. He seemed to like me, but I wondered why he wouldn't ask me on a date, or even get my phone number. Then one day he asked me to a barn dance. I wondered, but I agreed and that's when I found out he was Amish. I joined the church Leah." "Don't you miss the modern life?" Esther looked thoughtful for a moment.

"There are some things I thought I would miss, but have yet to. It's a simpler life, but when you're with the man you love, it can be the most rewarding life in the world." "Whoa, first of all, I'm not in love with Ethan, second of all he just lost a wife. I doubt he's going wife hunting already." "Leah, you do not have to be here." "No, I don't, but the Longacres are my friends. Friends help friends, and friends do not get hurt when other friends have to make decisions such as which Amish girl would make the best Amish mother for their Amish children. I better go check on Ethan, make sure they're not smothering him to death. If you'll excuse me?" Esther sighed as she watched Leah rush out of the kitchen. She could tell she had hit a nerve that ran deep.


	3. Unexpected Guests

It was a blustery stormy day at Marthas gravesite. The casket was very simple, made by one of the Longacres neighbors. Martha had been buried in the same clothes she had been married in. Leah stood near the back of the crowd, dressed in the same black skirt and white blouse she had worn to Rebecca's funeral. Ethan stood in the front surrounded by his family and the Dewberrys. Charity held little Mary. Leah studied his face closely. He stood dry eyed, no emotion whatsoever. Leah might have been worried, had she not been privy to the night before.

She and Charity had stayed to clean up the kitchen after all the visitors had left, and prepare for the wake the following day when they heard a noise upstairs. Leah ran up the flight like a shot with Charity on her heels. They found Ethan in the bedroom. The few belonging in the simply furnished room where thrown helter skelter. "Why have you turned your back on me God?" he asked angrily. Both girls immediately threw their arms around him, one on each side. "It's not fair. She should be here to raise our daughter. We were supposed to grow old together," he sobbed. From the other room, Mary started to cry. "I'll tend to her," Charity volunteered. She was frightened at what she had just witnessed. She had never seen Ethan flare up like that. She hadn't even recognized him as he stood there yelling at the heavens.

"It's too hard Leah. I have to act like I can just blindly accept what happened, and be grateful for what I do have, but I don't understand. Why? Why did my wife have to die? Why did God have to leave me alone with a daughter and no mother?" Leah held him. "I don't know," she whispered quietly to him. She felt him go limper in her arms. The storm was starting to calm. "He'll give you the answers in his time." "Why can't he just tell me now?" "You're going to be okay." She whispered in his ear. "You're going to be okay." Leah tried to lead him backward toward the bed. It was her intention for them to sit down.

Leah lost her footing and fell backward on the bed. Ethan falling on top of her. They looked for a moment in each others eyes, and before Leah knew what was happening he kissed her. She responded back, blocking out everything past and present. She was soley in the here. Her mind wandered back to reality, and gently she pushed Ethan back. "I have to go." Ethan realizing what he had just done quickly scrambled to his feet, looking just as confused as Leah. "I have to go," she repeated. "Charity I'll meet you down in my car," Leah called to her as she hurried down the stairs. She was breathing hard as she leaned against her car for a moment. She couldn't comprehend it. What had just happened in there? She was still wondering when her attention turned back to reality. The casket was lowered into the ground. Then the crowd dispersed for the wake at Ethan's house

She saw Ethan sneak outside with Mary as everyone was dishing up food in the house. She snuck out after him. Just to make sure he was okay. "How are you feeling?" she asked gently. He held out his arm and Leah hugged him. "That's what I need right now," he whispered into her hair. Mary started to cry. "Oh, I think someone's ready for a nap. Do you want me to put her down so you can make your rounds." He shook his head. "I really wish I did not have to be around a lot of people right now." "It would be nice if we had a few moments to talk without being interrupted. "Leah, I'm really sorry about what happened," he began to apologize. "Shh, it's okay. We can talk later."

Later Charity pulled her aside. "How is he doing?" "He seems to be okay, but he seemed okay yesterday too." Charity looked thoughtful for a moment. "I don't know what to do about our wedding. I wonder if it will be too painful for Ethan." "Oh Charity I completely forgot. I think it would be nice to have a celebration of happiness and new beginnings after such a tragic loss." " I would like it very much for you to be at my wedding Leah." "Oh Charity you know I'll be there. Just write me and let me know when it's going to be." "Are you going home?" Leah nodded. "I'll be going by tomorrow morning at the very latest." "Does Ethan know?" "No. I'll tell him later on. We have to talk anyway." Charity nodded in understanding. She knew something had happened when Leah ran down the stairs and Ethan ran after her, calling to her.

While the other women were cleaning up in the kitchen, and Mary was taking a nap. Ethan and Leah grabbed their chance to talk. They went into the barn. Leah was starting to feel more comfortable around the cows. "Leah, I have to apologize about last night. " "So when we kissed last night, it was comforting you?" "In a way. I know it's not right." "I can only be your friend Ethan. I can't be anything more." "I know." "That's why I'm leaving tomorrow, but I can't leave until I know for sure that you're going to be okay." "I would like to tell you I'll be okay Leah, but I do not lie. What I can say honestly is that I'll survive. Jonah and I were discussing it earlier, and it's decided that when he and Charity marry, they will spend a few weeks at my house first, and Charity can help me with the baby. Hopefully by then, things will have settled down."

A week later Leah was back at work, and still dealing with the feelings she had hoped to leave behind when she ran off. It wasn't that she didn't feel she was important. She had helped a lot of patients, but it was hard because not all of them lived. It was heartbreaking to her when a patient died, and she just wasn't as excited about her work as she had once been. Once or twice the thought of switching to obsetrics crossed her mind, but she only toyed with it briefly.

She was driving past the emergency room entrance when she saw someone with a homespun shirt and trousers hop out of a van with a baby girl in tow. Leah's heart jumped out of her throat. With out thinking, she parked her convertible, not even bothering to open the door, but leaping out of the side, and taking off after Ethan like a shot. It worried her the way she had seen him hurrying.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she caught up with Ethan. "She's turning yellow, and she is sleeping way too much." He explained, as they rushed through the doors. Leah took the baby while Ethan filled out the required forms the E.R nurse handed him. "She probably has jaundice." Leah determined as she took a look at Mary. "If it isn't treated soon, it could be bad news so it's good you brought her in." She checked her watch, biting her lip. She had to work, but she didn't want to leave Ethan. "I have to head up to the cancer ward for my shift, but I'll be back to check on you and Mary." "Thank you Leah."

Her first break she hurried back down to the emergency room. "How is she doing?" "They're running a few tests but the doctor suspects the same thing you do. She has jaundice." "Oh wow. Do you need anything? Can I get you anything?" "The one thing I need right now is a life without chaos. Why is all this happening? And so close together?" She hugged him. "You are a good dad. You can't help it if your little girl happens to get sick. Jaundice is actually a common illness among infants. It may even clear up on it's own." "She's right," the doctor said appearing in the doorway of the examining room. "Hello Dr. Rollins," she greeted him. "Hello Leah. Is this man a friend of yours?" "My angel is more like it," Ethan spoke up. Leah looked at him strangely.

The doctor continued. "My recommendation is photo therapy. This treatment is where you place her under a light for a specific amount of time during the day and night. The light is specially formulated to clear her illness." "And it requires electricity…" Leah added almost to herself, wondering how Ethan was going to deal with this. The doctor looked at the chart again. "Ohh, if it's a problem getting electricity to your home, Mr. Longacre, we could keep her here." "No, they can stay with me, in my apartment," Leah volunteered, without thinking. Ethan looked at her gratefully. 'What have I gotten into?' Leah wondered.

They rented a crib for Mary, and set it up in the front room of Leah's apartment. Ethan was going to take the fold out sofa, even though she tried to get Ethan and Mary to take her room since she wanted them both to be as comfortable as possible. The phototherapy machine was like a small suitcase which Leah immediately plugged in and placed Mary under as soon as they were home.

"I cannot thank you enough for taking us in Leah. I really did not want my daughter in the hospital just because we don't have electricity." "Don't worry about it," Leah assured him, as she sat down on the couch. "Want to see what's on TV?" she asked. Ethan shrugged. " I don't see why not," he said sitting down next to her. Leah chided herself not to be so silly. Ethan was sitting far enough from her that another person could have easily sat down in the middle of them and still had room. Yet it seemed too close. She stood up to make dinner.

"Leah, does my prescence here make you uncomfortable?" She looked at him. How did he have the ability to see through her like that. "What?" "I sense you are not comfortable with me here. Perhaps we could work out another arrangement." "Ethan no. You and your daughter are welcome here. Besides, you'd have a hard time bringing her in every day for treatment if you choose not to leave her at the hospital. Are you hungry?" "I guess I could eat something." "I was thinking of ordering a pizza." "Pizza is good." While Leah was ordering the pizza, Mary woke up. Ethan fed her, and seemed to be gaining a pretty good knowledge of parenting. Leah was relieved for Ethan's sake. However the fact that he was such a good dad was something she couldn't help but admire. Leah sighed as she leaned against her kitchen wall, out of sight. How was she going to survive having Ethan here, so close, and not falling for him again?


	4. Where Does The Heart Lie

They spend the evening as normally as two people in their situation could,' Leah had thought. Once the pizza had arrived, they hung out in front of the T.V. Mary lay contentedly in her car seat, except for the occasional diaper change. Once Mary was ready to go to bed, they settled for a game of Monopoly on the floor of Leah's room, leaving the door wide open so they could hear Mary if she started to cry, but the rolling of dice and shuffling of money wouldn't disturb her.

They played late into the night.

"That was fun," Leah said as she lay back on the carpet. It felt good to stretch her back.

"You better get into bed, and I better go to sleep while I can," Ethan said as he held out his hands, and helped her to her feet. She tripped over the Monopoly box and crashed into him. He held her tight to keep her from falling. "Sorry I'm so clumsy," she apologized as she picked up the errant box and threw it into her closet.

"Thank you so much, my Leah," he said.

"Ethan, it sounds so good to hear you call me yours, but you can't. I can't be yours. I want to be, but I know that after a time, you're going to move on, and you're going to find a wonderful Amish woman who will raise your children in the Amish ways, and milk your cows. The only thing I can do is milk cows," she joked trying to lighten the heavy mood that had just descended.

"I'm sorry Leah. I did not mean to cause you so much pain. It was an old habit I slipped into. Will you forgive me?"

"Of course."

"I just wanted to thank you for all you've done for Mary, and I."

"You're welcome."

Ethan went into the bathroom, and Leah could hear the shower running.

In the front room, she heard Mary start to cry.

"Shh, it's okay sweetheart," she said, holding her and switching on a lamp. She warmed a bottle and sat quietly on the couch with her. She absolutely adored Mary. She was so sweet as she just lay there, drinking her milk. At that moment, Leah wanted to just hold her close, and shield from the horrible realities the world could bring, only letting in the good, and happy for this child.

She heard a noise from behind her.

"Oh Leah, I'm so sorry. I didn't hear her."

"It's okay," she said. Her heart did a flutter as he stood there. His hair wet from the shower. He was shirtless, just wearing pants.

"Do you want to take over?" he asked.

"I think she just needs to be burped," she said as she noticed Mary had stopped taking liquid. His arms went under hers as he took his daughter. Their eyes met.

"Ethan – I –um – I have to go to bed," she mumbled. She turned off the light and flopped onto her bed staring at the wall, not sleeping.

She saw the shadows on the wall change as the light from the front room was turned off. She shifted a bit, and stretched out, hoping that would help her sleep and forget. She wanted to talk with him, but it wasn't a conversation she should even consider initiating. It was best for both of them to leave what she didn't say unsaid.

The door to her room creaked open, and she heard him hesitate. "I'm not sleeping," she said as she turned on her back and saw him come in and sit at the foot of the bed. "I can't sleep either because I have the impression you wanted to tell me something."

"Ethan, I don't even want to go there. It's not a good time."

"Go there?"

"An expression for something you don't want to discuss."

"Leah, I love you. I know that you think the minute Mary is well, I will leave and marry some Amish girl, and I will leave, but there's no Amish girl I want to marry. Martha was someone I wed because it was expected."

"Did you love her?" she asked sitting up

"I grew to respect and appreciate her, and in some ways I wish she were still here for Mary. As I told you before, Amish men are not fathers. Love, Leah, is what I have for you. I want to be with you, and some unseen hand keeps bringing us back to each other. An angel appeared to you. You had no way of knowing I was there. I had no way of knowing that was the hospital you worked at."

"Oh Ethan," she dove into his arms hugging him tightly. He embraced her back. Their lips found the way to each other resulting in kissing that each of them had longed for. Time stood still for the two lovers that had been apart for so long, as they basked in the glow of love and affection that only the other could provide. When their passionate fire threatened an inferno, Ethan paused. "My love, we had better stop."

"Right," she agreed, backing away.

They fell asleep in Leah's bed, cuddled together in the English tradition.

Mary also slept through the night, not awakening until she had to be put back under the photosynthesis machine for her treatments.

Leah woke up to the smell of something cooking in the kitchen.

"Ethan, you didn't have to fix me breakfast," she exclaimed as she put her arms around him from behind.

"I wanted to," he smiled at her.

After breakfast Leah was in a hurry to get dressed.

"I have something I have to do. Will you and Mary be okay here for a little bit?"

"Of course.

Leah drove down to Nappanee. There were questions she needed answered, and Ethan couldn't help her. She drove the long way around the Longacre farm. She couldn't risk having Ethan find out she had even been here until she was ready. She remembered Charity said they were down the road from Ethan's.

She drove past his farm, and saw the cows grazing in the pasture. Really, she thought, they were kind of cute with their big noses. It was good to see Ethan's cows were being taken care of. She guided her car up the winding road a little ways until she saw another farm. Leah could see that luck was on her side as she saw a woman hanging out laundry to dry.

"Excuse me?" she called. The woman turned from her clothing. "Oh, Leah isn't it? What a surprise."

"Hi Esther."

"Come on in for a cup of lemonade. What brings you to my farm today?" she asked as she finished hanging her clothes.

She suddenly felt foolish. "I was wondering if we could talk."

"Of course! Let's go inside for a cup of lemonade. The kids are in the stable, and my man is out in the fields. Nice and quiet," she said.

"So I take it that you've had some things happen," Esther said as she handed Leah a glass of cool liquid.

"Ethan is staying with me for a few days. His baby's treatment required electricity, and it was either my apartment or the hospital."

Leah glossed over the details of the previous night, just mentioning that she and Ethan talked about being together.

"Well, it's like I told you Leah, being Amish isn't easy."

"You said you didn't miss a lot of things?"

"Oh there are things I miss. Electricity is a big one, but over time you adapt. It's not worth it if you can't be happy with the man you love."

"What would I have to do to join the church?"

"Well you have to live among the Amish for a while, and be accepted by the community. You would have to learn farm life as well as doctrine. It's not an easy transition, Leah. Very few people join. Some of the more progressive communities have missionaries, but ours is not one of them."

"I understand. So I would have to live here in the Amish world?"

"Yes. Leah, if you would like, you can live here with us for a time. That is if you don't mind sharing a room with the girls."

"I wouldn't mind at all, but I'm not sure yet. I'm still trying to figure out if this is something I should do or if it's a temporary lapse of sanity."

An hour later she drove home, deep in thought, not paying attention to the drunk driver that was coming at her from the opposite side of the road.


	5. Time For Change

She heard a horn honk, and hit the brakes. The driver of the oncoming car swerved to avoid a collision with her, only to crash into another car. Her instincts as a nurse took over. She pulled over, yanking off her seatbelt, and sprinted to the crash scene, checking the people in the car that had just been hit.

"Is everyone okay?" she asked as she ran to the passenger side window.

"I will be," the woman in the passenger side said, breathing hard.

"She's pregnant," the man in the driver's seat explained as he was hurrying over to his wife.

"Ohh, my water just broke," she panicked, clutching her belly.

"We were on our way to the hospital," her husband explained. "I guess the ambulance will just get us there faster, huh honey?"

"Ohh, he's not going to wait that long?" she moaned as a contraction took over.

"Calm down. Here, lay down in the back seat," Leah suggested, helping the woman.

"Ohh. This baby is not going to wait."

Leah took a deep breath. It had been a year since she had been in an obstetrics class. She hoped she remembered what to do.

"Hold her hand," she told the woman's husband, as she sprung into action. "What's your name?" she asked.

"Margaret."

"So Margaret, do you know what you're having?"

"Not yet."

"Breathe, breathe," she coached. "We're going to push on the next one," she instructed as she saw the baby's head start to appear, "push, just a little more," she coaxed as the baby's head came into her hands. "One more push," she declared.

The baby slipped out, crying. "It's a boy," she announced.

"We can take over from here," said one of the paramedics who had arrived on the scene, holding a clean receiving blanket.

"Congratulations," she told the couple as she handed the newborn to its mother, and climbed out.

Leah was immediately interviewed by the policeman who had come to investigate. "You seemed pretty calm," the policeman observed as talk about the delivery came up.

"I'm a nurse," she said.

At that moment, one of the paramedics came over. "Can I borrow her for a second, chief?" she asked. "Margaret wants you."

The woman was loaded onto a stretcher, her newborn in her arms. "You've helped us bring our son into this world. Thank you so much," she said, clutching Leah's hand.

"Oh, you're welcome," she said, in awe at the realization. She had just delivered a baby. That was a day in the life for the obstetrics team. They brought souls into this world instead of holding their hands as they died.

The cancer ward was very important. Every day they were coming up with new and better ways of restoring life, and in a way it was rewarding to be part of the fight, but maybe she wasn't meant to be a nurse. It was all coming together in her mind, but it wasn't time to tell Ethan. Not yet.

She went home, and related all the details of the accident, including her delivery, leaving out where it took place. "It was coming for me," she said of the drunk driver, and her knees began to shake. After all the fighting she had done against cancer a drunk driver had almost wiped her out. She could have died in a car accident had the driver not avoided her. Life was fragile. Too fragile to waste it not doing what you loved, or being who you wanted to be.

While Ethan was bathing Mary that night, she opened up her laptop and did a search on what she would need to do to become a registered midwife.

Leah drove Ethan back to Nappanee a week later. Mary had been pronounced healthy enough to be taken off photosynthesis. The drive was quiet. Leah had not yet told Ethan about her plan. There was one more glitch she wanted to work out.

Ethan carried her into the house, Leah following with a diaper bag of baby necessities. She set it on the table as Ethan put Mary into her crib. She had fallen asleep on the drive over. He came back into the front part of the house, and kissed her. Their lips locked with a bittersweet passion that had always been a part of their relationship.

"This is not goodbye," she told him fiercely, their eyes locking.

"We will find a way," Ethan said.

"I have to go, but I'll be back in a few days," she told him.

Instead of going straight home, she drove to Esther Wheatley's farm. Esther knew Sarah Windridge, the local midwife, and was happy to introduce Leah. Sarah Windridge was an older woman, quiet in her bearing, sturdy, her gray hair wound gracefully back into a bun, like all the other women. Yet there was a sparkle in her grey eyes that spoke of a cheerful and comforting bedside manor.

After Ester introduced Leah, Leah spilled out her plan, of becoming Amish, and training to be a midwife. Sarah was not surprised. She had seen this coming when Leah had showed up at Ethan's farm in her scrubs.

"I've even delivered one baby," Leah remarked.

"Did you now?"

"It was what helped me decide actually," she explained and told her what had happened with the car accident.

Sarah thought it over carefully. She was the only midwife in the area, and there were a few occasions where a second one would be very helpful indeed, especially in October, and in spring when a lot of the babies arrived. Plus, she obviously wasn't as young as she used to be. Yes, an assistant would be very helpful.

"I'll be happy to teach you what I know," she said.

That afternoon, Sarah and Leah drove in Leah's car into the town to get material to make her Amish clothing.

"I can't tell you how much your help means to me, Sarah," Leah said gratefully.

"I remember when I was in Tennessee, and I had a woman helping me as I am helping you now. I know I would have been lost without her those first few months."

"Thank you."

Sarah helped her choose simple fabrics. They selected lengths of black, brown, and tan for dresses, and some more white material to make a bonnet with.

"An Amish woman NEVER leaves her house without her bonnet," Esther instructed.

Their next stop was an Amish general store where Esther purchased some vegetables for the evening meal. As they walked through produce, Esther gave her a crash course in how to select the items. "Most of them will come from your own farm of course, but you can't grow everything."

Leah was scared as she contemplated more and more about how her life would change as an Amish person. It was exciting to be entering a new life, but would it be the right decision? She was quitting her job at the hospital and everything was happening so quickly.

Two days later she stepped off the porch at the Wheatly farm, and walked down the road to Ethan's. She knocked on the door, and took a deep breath. There was no answer. She wandered around to the back and found him in the barn, grooming a horse.

"Ethan?" she called.

He looked at her and stared. "Leah, why are you wearing those clothes?" he asked.

"Ethan, I've made the decision to join your church."

His eyes lit up as he ran to her.

"Really?"

She nodded.

He twirled her in the air, bringing her down for a crushing kiss.

"It will be awhile before we can wed. I can only marry you once you're baptized, and that will be at least a year. But what about your job? Your work with children?"

"I'm going to train under Sarah to become a midwife."

"I do not believe this," Ethan exclaimed happily, as he hugged and kissed her again.

The next day was Sunday, Leah's first Amish service. She paid attention to every word spoken. She had never been big on going to church. In fact, she had never paid attention to religion before. Now as she sat in the crowded room, listening to the men who had been called upon to preach, she felt the knowledge she received fill a hole she had never known was there. Never had she remembered three hours passing so quickly. During the service Leah sat with Esther's family. She had not managed to locate the Longacres in the vast crowd. However the moment the service ended, Ethan was at her side. They stayed for the light lunch that was being served, and as the crowds started to break up, and everyone started to go home, Ethan handed Mary to Charity with a wink. "Come along Leah. I want to take you buggy riding."

He helped her into the buggy, then took the rein behind the horses. Instead of driving back to the Wheatley farm, Ethan drove out to a pond where the sunlight sparkled on the water. "It's beautiful," she remarked.

"My Leah," he said as he took her into his arms.

They sat for awhile enjoying the scenery, and the feel of each other. Then Ethan helped her down, and led her closer to the water's edge.

"My Leah, you know I love you very much," he said.

"Yes?" she asked, suddenly growing unsure of her decision.


	6. Mothers and Daughters

He got down on one knee, and held out an artificial flower to her. "Engagement rings are considered vain, but my Leah, I would like for you to accept this rose as a symbol that you will one day become my wife."  
"Of course I will," she laughed and cried at the same time, touched that he would make the gesture to propose to her in the "English" way.  
They huggd and kissed as they stayed by the lake, full of future hopes and plans.  
"Have you written your mother yet?" Ethan asked.  
She nodded. "It was one of the hardest letters I've had to write in my life."  
"How do you think she'll take the news?"  
Leah shrugged. "Honestly I think she'll be okay with it. She's always trusted my judgement, and it's not like I'm going to stop being her daughter or anything."

After what seemed like an hour, they left. As she and Ethan pulled up in the buggy, Leah spotted a familiar car sitting in the Wheatridge's driveway.  
"It's my mom," she stated, trying to keep the panic out of her voice.  
"You can't hide it from her Leah."  
"Come in with me," she pleaded, as he helped her down.  
"Why are you so scared of your mother?"  
"Everything happened so fast. I didn't have a chance to tell her about anything until now."

They cautiously entered the Wheatridge home to see Roberta Dutton at the table with Esther. Both women with a cup of tea.  
"No offense, but I don't feel this is a good lifestyle for my daughter," they heard her say.  
Leah stopped in her tracks at the mention of her.  
"Maybe Ethan and I should leave and let you two talk then," Esther said.

Roberta turned around and saw the two of them. "You," she growled furiously at Ethan.  
"Mom, let's talk," Leah pleaded steering her outside.  
"Leah, he's brainwashing you. Get in the car," she ordered.  
"What?"  
"Get in the car. Now."  
"You got my letter then."  
"Leah, you are jumping into this thing way too fast. Women should have more freedom then these women are allowed. I can't allow you to stay with these people."  
"You won't allow? I'm over eighteen."  
"Which is why I'm taking you to a psychiatrist."  
"You are not."  
"I did my research. Your new "religion" will allow it, and Dr. Sutton is a good friend of mine. That's why you're seeing him outside of his normal office hours."  
"Mom, you're being ridiculous."  
"No, those Amish are ridiculous. I raised you to be a strong independent woman.You do know that if Ethan turns violent, you aren't allowed to leave."  
"Have you ever seen Ethan hurt me? Honestly."  
"Leah, as far as the guys you've dated go, I know you never got over Ethan, and sometimes it's okay when that happens, becuase you meet other people, and that's what will happen as soon as you're back in my custody."  
"What? You aren't trying to prove me mentally incompetent?"  
"I don't need to. The psychiatrist will do that for me."  
"I don't belive this. I'm taking a big step to be with the man I love. Why can't you be happy for me?"  
"Because you're not thinking clearly. You can't be serious about throwing away your entire college education to become a voiceless housewife with nothing to do but keep house and pop out children."  
"Don't you want grandchildren?"  
"Of course I do, but Leah, this is not the way to go about it."  
"I'm only going through with this to humor you," Leah shouted, as they exited the car.  
"Fine," her mother snapped as they briskly walked through the entrance of the office building that housed Dr. Sutton's office. Leah followed cautiously behind, worried that her mother had some type of trap set for her, and bewildered at how her mother was acting.

Leah appraised Dr. Sutton before she agreed to follow him into his office. There was nothing sinister about him she could see. He was middle aged with very little gray in his chestnut brown hair. His brown eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled, just like Neil's had.  
"It's a pleasure to meet you Leah," he said as he took a seat behind his desk and gestured for her to take the seat on the other side.  
"Look, I don't know what my mother's told you, but basically it boils down to this - the man I love is Amish, and the only way I can be with him is if I'm Amish as well."  
"Relax Leah. I just wanted to talk to you before we bring your mother back in the room. I don't think you're crazy. You're a nurse. You know how minds and things work. How quickly you jumped into everything is a bit alarming, but normal for someone as young as you are. In fact I think it's a rebellion thing."  
"What?"  
" You've said you're joining the Amish to be with Ethan, not becuase it's something you believe in. I see it all the time. The teenagers I see come in with all sorts of new and interesting haridos and pericings, shouting theories they picked up from friends. It's all to rebel against their parents. Your mother explained the lifestyle she's led, and how the two of you have been practically all over the nation as she tries to make things work time after time. She wove a complicated web. In your rebellion, you decided to lead the simplest life you could, and boy, did you pick a dozy."  
"This isn't rebellion. This is about what's right for me."  
"Leah, relax. I have Amish friends, and nothing against the way they choose to live. The fact that you've been friends with the Amish for awhile means you did have some guidence at least going into this. I know you're mother wants me to declare you mentally incompetent, she's convinced you've lost it. I'm not going to do that. In fact I requested she bring you here more for her therapy than yours."  
"I just can't figure out why she's so irrational."  
"Well, maybe if there's some kind of referee in between you two it will help." He pressed a button on his desk. "You can come in now Roberta."  
"Well Doug, what kind of treatment do you recommend? Medication perhaps?"  
"Sit down Roberta. Now I think you've misunderstood my motive for wanting Leah to come with you. While I do see a cause for alarm at how fast she's jumping the gun, it's hardly a situation for mental therapy or medication. What she's doing is normal for a woman her age."  
"It's normal for her to go prancing off to join the Amish with hardly a word to her mother?"  
"Would you rather have her running off to tattoo parlors or hair salons?"  
"We are not talking about physical markings. We are talking about a major change in lifestyle. I'm losing my daughter! Am I the only one who gets it?" Roberta exclaimed in frustration. "I'm not going to be allowed to see my daughter becuase she'll be locked up in some backwoods cult."  
"Backwoods cult?" Leah exclaimed. "Let me tell you something, mother. That "backwoods cult" has given more stability then you ever gave me."  
Her mother sat down as though Leah had slapped her across the face. Leah turned away, unable to look at her mother. She felt horrible she had said it, and now the words hung in the air like a gaping wound.

Her mother had tried. She really had. It wasn't fair to Roberta for Leah to bring up a past her mother had no way of correcting. Roberta had been younger then Leah when she had her.What would Leah do if she were in the same situation?


	7. An Amish wedding

What would she do if she were married with a child and something happened to Ethan? Her heart started to soften, as her mother's sobs started to echo across the office. "I'm going to lose you, I know it. You're all I have left," she cried. Leah forgot all her anger as she embraced her mother.  
"Shh, it's okay mom. You're not losing me."  
"Leah, you're entering a world I can't be a part of."  
"That's not true. The only thing you won't be able to do is call me on the phone, but I can call you from town, and you can always come visit."  
"It will only be a matter of time before you're calling me English, and raising children that won't know me as their grandma."  
"That's not true. You're my mother. None of the Amish women are ever going to take your place. I promise. You can even come to my baptism."  
"And your wedding?"  
"Of course, and all my children's confirmations, and blessings, and baptisms, and weddings too. You can even come and spend Christmas with us."  
"You promise?" Roberta sniffed.  
"Of course. You're my mother," Leah said as she embraced her again.

It was a calmer drive as they drove back to Napanee. It was dark, the lanterns glowing from the cabin windows.  
"Goodbye Leah. I'll see you later."  
"Bye mom."  
Ethan was inside with the Wheatridges. The girls were taking turns holding Mary with adult supervision.  
"Well?" he asked expectantly, looking at her.  
"We're getting married."  
He was visibly relieved as he hugged her

Leah stretched as she forced herself out of the cramped bed. It was getting easier to get up early, but she wasn't sure she would ever be fully readjusted. One of the benefits she learned, of living the simple life was the speed it took her to get ready. No shifting through her closet, no array of colors and patterns to mix and match. She missed colors, but she didn't have time to decide what to wear anyway. Breakfast had to be prepared.

"You're a natural, Leah," Esther encouraged her as she punched down bread before putting it in the oven.  
"I have to admit yeast is scary."  
"Nothing to it once you know how."  
Leah remembered that sentance a lot as she learned the ways of the Amish housewives, and trained under Esther to be a midwife. She was a bit skittish about doing so, remembering what happened to Martha, but she had done her research. The infection that had taken Martha couldn't have been prevented. The only mistake made was waiting so long to get her to the hospital.

The first Sunday of November, it was announced. Charity and Jonah would finally be married. It was not a suprise to Leah. Charity had asked Leah to be one of her newehockers, which was German for attendants. There was no such thing as bridemaids or maids of honor. "It's not our way to place one person of importance over another," Charity explained. the dress she would wear had been finished last night. Thursday morning, Leah awoke at 4:00 a.m. She and Esther were at the Longacres by 4:30, ready to help with the tremendous amount of food that would be needed that day. Nothing could have prepared Leah for the enormousness of the task. She learned that over 500 guests were expected.  
"I'm so nervous," Charity confided to Leah as they peeled potatoes.  
"Don't be. You and Jonas will be a good match."  
"Just wait until you and Ethan are married," Charity told her.  
The entire house it seemed was nothing but food preperations until about 7:30 in the morning when the first wagons started to pull up with the out of town relatives of the Longacres and Dewberrys. Leah took a discreet notice of who was related to Ethan. She had never thought she would be marrying into such a big family.

The girls changed into their dresses upstairs. Charity wore a plain dress that was a deep blue with a black prayer cap, apron, and cape. The gown was plain, but she looked stunning in it, the flush of excitement giving her a pretty, and natural color. The attendants dresses were a complementing shade of green, all calf length. They're prayer caps were white as well as white aprons and capes to differentiate from the bride. As was the tradition with their regular Sunday services, the men and women sat seperately. The newehockers could hear hymns being started in the main living area of the home where the wedding would be. The singing lasted about fifteen or twenty minutes, while the minister counseled Charity and Jonah in another room. Then the minister entered with Charity and Jonah behind him. Behind them were their attendants.

Charity and Jonah were allowed to be seated while the minister gave a long sermon about the importance of marriage, and how the promises that would be exchanged today would not only impact their lives, but those of their posterity. Then Chairty and Jonah were invited to stand, and asked questions about their marriage, instead of the English custom of vows. While the minister was asking his questions, Ethan caught Leah's eye. As their eyes met, the meaning was clear. They only had a year more to wait, then this would be them. Their day and their moment would be what Charity and Jonah were having now. They turned their attention back to the ceremony as the minister blessed the young couple as man and wife. Then their fathers spoke about the blessings of marriage.

"In marriage, it is more than the day to day experience of being together. It is a great blessing and duty you have to love and care for one another. It is your duty to counsel with each other, and be equally yoked as the Bible says. It is your parents hope, Charity, that you and Jonah will have as happy a marriage as your mother and I have had," Jacob Longacre said.

Somwhere in the back of Leah's mind, she had ideas that marriage wasn't supposed to be happy or a blessing. In fact the only reason she was marrying Ethan is so she wouldn't have to be apart from him, but as she heard the men speak, she realized marriage wasn't just a "duty" or something people did when they grew up. It was a true union, the kind Neil and her mother had shared. 'That's what I want,' her mind shouted.

The cermony closed, and the women flew back to the kitchen to serve the meal while the men set up tables in a U shape. A corner called "Eck" was reserved for the newlyweds where they sat with their attendants. Charity sat on Jonah's left, the same position she would take in the buggy, with the attendants of the groom seated on the grooms side, while the attendants of the bride were seated on Chairty's side. Their immediate families would have their own table in the kitchen There was an enourmous meal served with roast chicken, and turkey. There was stuffing and creamed celery, and all sorts of other salads and breads, and deserts. Leah had mistakenly thought that becuase Charity would not carry a bridal bouquet, no flowers meant no decorations. However vases of celery adorned the tables as symbols of fertility.

When the gargantuan meal had been finished, the children ran outside to play games in the yard. Charity, as the bride, was allowed to play matchmaker, assigning unmarried boys to sit with unmarried girls over the age of 16 for the evening meal. Elizabeth looked overjoyed when Charity assisgned Joseph Pinehurst to sit with her younger sister. As they had been getting ready, Charity had been teasing Elizabeth Longacre mercilessly about wanting to ride in his buggy. She also assigned Ethan and Leah to sit together.

The main table was cleared and this time the parents were seated with the bride and groom as supper was served. This was considered a slightly smaller meal, but not by much in Leah's opinion as she served guests. Finally she was able to sit and eat with Ethan who held off eating until she could join him.  
"Where's Mary?" she asked.  
"With my mother for now," Ethan pointed to the head table where Tillie Longacre was feeding her grandaughter off her own plate. "Ive decided to move back in with my parents for now," he said.  
"Oh Ethan, why?"  
"I've sold my farm to Jonah. That way he and Charity will have place of their own in between visiting. I know from experience when Martha and I were first married, we lived with the Dewberrys. I respect them, but I wanted a place of my own. I suspect Jonah's no different. I want to do this Leah," he said, quieting her protests. "The house I shared with Martha should not be the same house I share with you."

Around 10:30 the visiting began to wind down. Some vistors would stay with the Longacres, including the bride and groom who would help clean up the next morning. Others would stay overnight with the Dewberrys. Ethan and Leah stole several goodnight kisses behind the barn before she had to leave with the Wheatridge's.

_Thanks to for their fabulous information on Amish weddings, and thanks to everyone who's reading this. I currently have five stories I'm trying to update at the same time, but I promise this will be updated again ASAP. Of course the inspiration flows a little more when I see reviews and know people are reading... hint!_


	8. Season For Thanks

As was the custom, Jonah, and Charity came to visit the Wheatleys for dinner a few days before Thanksgiving. They would be staying the night before moving onto the next home.

"Charity, it's so good to see you," Leah exclaimed as she hugged her friend.  
"It is good to see you too, Leah."  
"How is married life?"  
"Absolutely wonderful."  
"I made my first pie today - from scratch!"  
"And she did a pretty fine job of it too," Esther remarked.  
"And not to impress Ethan?" Charity teased.  
"No. My mom is coming to Thanksgiving."  
"How did you talk her into that one?"  
"With Esther's help."  
Esther's non Amish family was also coming for Thanksgiving. Leah hoped that it would help her mother be more accepting of her if she had a chance to talk with Esther's parents about her transition.  
"Leah, can I get your help with supper please?" Esther asked.  
"Sorry Esther. Duty calls," she apologized to Charity.

After the home made meal had been served, Charity offered to help Leah clear the table.  
"You don't have to. You're a guest," Leah protested.  
"Nonsense, I want to."  
"I wanted to tell you before you see me in your office," Charity started when the girls were out of earshot of everyone else.  
"Why? Unless... oh Charity, I'm so happy for you!!" Leah exclaimed. "Does Jonah know?"  
"Yes, so does Ethan. I wanted to tell you myself so I swore him to secrecy."  
"I'm so happy for you!!" she exclaimed again.  
"We're going to name it Rebekah if it's a girl, and Eli if it's a boy."  
"Those are perfect names."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me Charity was going to have a baby," Leah explained, when Ethan picked her up to go buggy riding the next day. Ethan smiled a secretive smile.  
"What was that" Leah demanded.  
"What?"  
"That smile. You're up to something I know it."  
"Who me?" he asked innocently.  
"Yes, you."  
"A man needs a reason to pick up his future wife to go buggy riding?"  
"No, if it weren't in the middle of a work day on a farm."  
"I couldn't wait until nighttime."  
"Why?"  
"Because I love to be with you, and didn't want to wait."  
"Ethan Longacre, you are impossible."  
He put his arm around her as they rode quietly down the road. He stopped when they got to what looked like a clearing. He helped her down and led her out to the middle of the space. "I figure I can start planting come spring," he said.  
"Planting, here?"  
He nodded. "What do you think of it? There's several acres."  
The home they'd be sharing as husband and wife,' she thought. "I think it's the most beautiful land in the world," she exclaimed as she kissed him. "Where's the house though?"  
"I'm going to build it."  
"Yourself?"  
"Oh, I'll need help with plumbing and things, but I'll build it just the way my father built his, and my grandfather before him. We can put the stable over here, and a little road so it will be easy for you to go make house calls," he pointed out. "We'll get you a horse that's fearless, so you can tear down the road if you need to."  
"Whoa, I'll settle for one that will have a nice trot to it," she protested nervously.  
Ethan's eyes widened. "You haven't been on a horse yet."  
"I haven't needed to be."  
"Let's change that."  
"Let's not."  
Ethan hesitantly looked at the sky. The wintry twilight was starting to set in.  
"I'd better get you home now. I have some more things I need to do at the farm while it's still daylight."  
"I'm worred about my mom," she confided once they were on the road. "She's still really uneasy about this whole change."  
"Ah, my Leah, I wish I could make your burden easier somehow."  
"Just love me," she sighed.  
"I already do."

The Amish celebration of the holiday was unlike any Leah had experienced before. It was the first time for her that the holiday had not begun by watching the parades on TV, and planning on shopping the next day. Instead the day began at the usual hour, with the men tending to the livestock. Leah helped Esther with some of the basic preparations for the turkey, but learned they would be fasting until the big meal. When the men returned from the barn, they started had a prayer, and sat in a circle taking turns reading out of the Bible. Then each stated what they were thankful for. Leah didn't know what to say. All the things she ws thankful for this holiday could have taken up an entire book. "I'm thankful for this familys love and support," she said, unexpectedly choking up. She knew she couldn't have been so close to reaching her dreams without them, especially Esther.

The Amish Thanksgiving meal was much like the "English" meals Leah was familiar with, with sides of stuffing and mashed potatoes, and various other dishes. Delicious armoas filled the small house. However Leah was not hungry at all. The hour her mother would arrive was drawing near. She really hoped that meeting Esther's family would help her mother chill out.

Esther's parents were the first to arrive. Esther's mother was a small woman with short grey hair and spectacles. Her father was a few inches taller with a white mustache and thinning hair. They were clearly Southern and Leah was amused to notice that Esther's Tennesee drawl came back as she spoke with them.

A few minutes later another knock came at the door. It was her mother. "Hi Mom," Leah greeted Roberta. "Hello sweetie," her mother said, enveloping her in a big hug. "I'm so glad you could be here," Leah exclaimed. "You're still my daughter," Roberta said. Leah introduced her mother, and left the parents to talk while Esther and Leah excused themselves to the kitchen.

The dishes were being set out just as Esther's two sisters arrived, filing the house with cousins for her daughters to play with. "The life our Esther has lived as an Amish woman isn't different from the life we raised her to live in Tennesee." "It isn't?" her mother asked incredulously. "No, not at all. We're country folk you see, so as long as she's got God, family, and enough on the table under a roof to keep out the rain, she's really got all a person needs, and she's been so happy with Tim. We couldn't wish a better life for her," her mother said. "You don't see her a lot though?" Roberta inquired. "No, but simply becuase we live in Tennessee. That's why they come visit us during the summer." Leah said a silent prayer thanking God for Esther's mother. She seemed to have gotten through to Roberta in a way no one else could.

Leah had just finished her meal when there was a knock at the door. Leah fully expected Ethan, instead it was Hannah Smith. Her mother, Ruth, was due to have a baby in another month or so. She was only eight months along Leah thought. "The baby's coming," the little girl desperately gasped. "Sarah is in another town, and we can't find anyone else. Can you come please?" "Come on in. Mother, can you drive me?" "Of course," Roberta answered. "I'll be right back," Leah assured the child as she tried to cath her breath. She flew up the stairs, grabbed her cape and a medical bag that Sarah had insisted she get. "You never know when you'll have an emergency," Sarah had said.

The ride to the farm was silent broken only by Hannah giving directions. Leah was fighting to stay calm, struggling to remember what she had been taught, praying for guidence to bring a healthy baby into the world. She rushed into the master bedroom to find Ruth was nearly in full labor. "How long have you been having pains?" Leah asked as she calmly set out the equipment she would need. "They began not more then a few hours ago," Ruth gasped.

As the baby started to come out, Leah was startled,. The cord was wrapped around it's neck. Swiftly she flew into action carefully cutting it just the way Sarah had taught her. The baby gave a loud wail as Leah wrapped the infant in a blanket, and gently laid him in his mothers arms. "Congratulations, it's a son," Leah smiled. There was a knock at the bedroom door. "Come in," Ruth called.  
It was Sarah. "Well, it sounds like a litte stranger just joined the party."  
"I have a brother," Hannah yelled excitedly.  
"That's nice dear, why don't you go tell your younger siblings while we take care of your mama here?" Sarah gently coaxed the little girl. Leah was more than relieved as Sarah led her through all the finishing steps for the mother and child.  
"You did a fine job for your first delivery," Sarah congratulated her.

To Leah's suprise, her mother was waiting for her when she came out.  
"Leah, I've been much too hard on you," Roberta admitted.  
"What?"  
"When I was about your age, I just worked and took care of my daughter. I wasn't bringing a baby into this world. You were so calm as you went in there."  
"I just did what I've learned," she shrugged.  
"I was wrong. You've grown up into the strong confident woman I've wanted you to be. I'm sorry I doubted you," Roberta apologized as she tearfully hugged her daughter.  
"Now, lets get you home, I imagine your tired."  
"Actually, lets see if there's any leftover pie," Leah said as they walked out to the car. "You know I made them all from scratch?"  
"From scratch?"  
"Yea, it wasn't easy."  
"I can only imagine," her mother exclaimed as she steered the car down the road through light drifts of snow.


	9. Educations

"The next day, Leah walked home from Esther's office. Her high boots crunching into freshly falling snow. "Leah," she heard someone call. SHe looked up and saw Elizabeth coming toward her.

"Hello Elizabeth," she greeted her.

"Hello Leah. Would you mind if I walked home with you?" she asked apprehensively.

"Certainly."

She could tell from Elizabeth's actions this was not a social call. "What's on your mind?" Leah asked.

"What is the English world like really?"

"Elizabeth, what a silly question," Leah tried to dismiss it. "You're in the English world everytime you go into town."

"What's it like outside of Napanee? In the big cities?" she asked earnestly.

"Elizabeth, what is this about?"

"Well, sometimes Rumpspringa doesn't feel like this is what the world is really like. I want to know - everything."

"Well, you know how today is the day after Thanksgiving?" Leah asked.

Elizabeth nodded.

"In the English world, it's a tradition for many to shop the entire day."

"What do they buy?"

"Christmas presents.Stuff from Santa?"

"Santa?" Elizabeth asked.

"Didn't you learn about him in school?" Leah asked.

"Oh, yeah, the big red guy. I've seen him at the mall. Tell me about the big cities you've been to," Elizabeth pleaded.

"Well, I went to Las Vegas once. There's casinos everywhere, and cheap buffets as far as the eye can see."

"Really? What are the casinos like?"

"Well, there's New York, New York. They have a huge roller coaster called the Manhattan Express. Everything is themed like New York, there's even a deli there. Then there's Paris with an actual Eifel Tower. You can ride to the top and see all of Las Vegas. Then there's the Bellagio which is one of the most expensive hotels in the world. They have an amazing flower garden. My favorite was MGM. They have a tiger enclosure where theres just a glass wall between you and them. I'm sorry, I'm rambling," she apologized.

"No, I want to know. I want to know about the whole world before I commit to give it up."

"Do you have a library card?" Leah asked. "Tell me you know about the library," Leah pressed. "There are tons of books that will tell you about the world more than I could."

"Honestly I never even thought of that," Elizabeth confessed.

"Let's go," Leah urged.

"Well, right now, I have to get back and finish my morning chores."

"How about this afternoon?"

"Around two."

When they got to the library in town, Leah could see a few open computers. "This is a major part of the English world," Leah said as she showed Elizabeth how to get online, and check out websites.

As Leah did some surfing herself, she heard a gasp. She looked next to her. Elizabeth had pulled up a web site that wanted to teach her some things about the English world she did not need to know.

"How did you find that?" Leah asked as she closed it out.

"I just typed "nice guys" into the browser. I wanted to see what English guys are like."

"This is a safer site," Leah said, directing her to a match site Leah had used a time or two in her attempts to forget Ethan.

"I love the internet," Elizabeth gushed as they headed back home

"It's a great way to learn things," Leah agreed.

* * *

Ethan's reaction when Leah told him was not what she expected. 

"Leah, you and Elizabeth must not tell anyone you did that," Ethan told her.

"Why?"

"It's a modern convienence that the Amish are forbidden to use. Elizabeth might be able to get away with it becuase she's in her time, but you could get into big trouble."

"Elizabeth wanted to know more about the world. I thought I was helping her," Leah said, horrified at what could happen.

"Elizabeth should know better ," Ethan growled. "Honestly, I think she's more interested in the English world then she should be."

"Ethan, I came from the English world," Leah reminded him

"And look at all the hardships we've gone through Leah. What would have happened to us if you had decided to remain in your world? I do not want Elizabeth to suffer like we have suffered. Do you?"

"Ethan, Elizabeth is a smart girl.. It's normal to want to know more about places and people who are different. You and I had that at her age. We had each others worlds to learn about. Elizabeth doesn't have that. All she knows is Amish and the Amish life. Besides, what is so bad about helping her learn how to use a computer?"

"Leah, I want you to name ONE thing you can do online, that you cant get done without it. We do not need hosts of video games when there is farm work to do. We do not deal with email becuase we have the regular postal service. Banking is something you can do by going to town. Medical information is something you get by visiting the doctor. We don't pay taxes so you certainly don't need it for that. Computers have no place in our world. The same world which you are trying to show a commitment to live in."

"Trying? Let me tell you about trying! I have changed my entire life. I've nearly had my mother murder me over this. I've given up my car, my laptop, my career, all the convienences of life that in the English world, which by the way isn't that bad, are considered mandatory. I've learned how to cook, sew, garden, farm, I've even learned how to milk a cow without freaking out. And you have the nerve to accuse me of trying?"

"Leah, I didn't mean it like that. Please let's not fight," Ethan said, embracing her.

"Ethan, I have been on such a roller coaster. You have no idea," Leah cried.

"My Leah, I'm sorry I was so harsh on you. You did not know. I feel it's partly my fault as I should be taking more time to teach you about our customs and way of life."

"Do you think Elizabeth will tell?" Leah asked.

"I'm sure she'll keep her mouth shut," Ethan said as he rubbed Leah's back.


End file.
